"REMUS JOHN LUPIN!"

Remus jerked awake and fell out of bed with a yelp. He'd been taking a nap, having given up on Austen shortly before dozing off. What time was it? Rubbing the back of his aching head, he sat up, and called back, somewhat half-heartedly, "Whaaat?"

Voices floated upstairs, indistinct. He frowned, trying to make out what they were saying. One was definitely his mother. The other...

"...just head on upstairs," his mum was saying, "you know which one it is, first door on the left."

"Thanks, Mrs. Lupin, you're a real dear. And looking absolutely lovely today, might I add."

Remus paused, horrified. That was, without a doubt, Sirius Black, and was he actually trying to charm Remus's mum? She was more than twice his age! And married! And - and Remus's mum! But then, slowly, dangerously, another thought struck him, a thought which was ten times more galling than the idea of Sirius making a pass at his mother.

That thought was, Sirius Black is coming upstairs. Into my room.

Panicking, Remus threw himself back onto his bed, trying to smooth back his mussed hair, adjust his crumpled shirt, and rub the sleep out of his eyes all at once. But too late, far too late, he realised nothing could be done about what his mum affectionately referred to as his "Remus goes to the zoo" bedsheets.

The door creaked opened, and Sirius strolled in with a casual grin and his shirt half untucked, looking right at home.

"Hallo Remus," he said, cheerfully. "I see you've roused yourself to welcome me."

Remus went a bit pink, but met him stare for stare. "Hello," he said. "What are you doing here, Sirius? Shouldn't you be with-" damn, what was the fellow's name, you know him, one of your best mates, singer in the band?- "with James?"

Sirius flung himself onto the bed next to Remus, then rolled over, carelessly invading Remus's personal space without so much as a 'how-do-you-do'. "He's off on a 'date'," he said mockingly, drawing the inverted commas in the air with his fingers.

"Ah," said Remus, and grinned. "Then oughtn't you have your mobile ready, for when he rings you from the hospital?"

"Nah," said Sirius, letting his hands drop. "Peter's on comfort duty today. His turn after that- well, you ought to remember- the trouser-fiasco?"

"Ah," said Remus again, wincing at the mere thought of James and, well, his trousers. ﾓYeah... I do. Wish I could forget." He stared down at his lap, trying to will the flashbacks away.

Apparently fascinated by the behaviour of this particular specimen of Lupin, Sirius leaned in closer to peer at him. Remus cleared his throat and shifted around awkwardly, but to no avail; hints tended to bounce pointlessly off Sirius as though he were made of rubber.

"...What were you up to before I got here?" asked Sirius, his head cocked quizzically to one side.

"I was - er -" Not wanting to admit to Sirius that he'd dozed off while reading in case he never heard the end of it, Remus hastily scooped the boring novel off his bedside table and presented it to Sirius. "-reading. Yes, I was reading this. In fact, I am going to go back to reading it. Yes?"

"All right," said Sirius, a little unnerved by how Remus was acting like the instructions beamed to his brain from the mothership were breaking up. He sat to one side, watching as Remus settled back into the pillows, snapped the book open and began to read studiously, and in complete silence.

Bored, Sirius drummed his fingers on the bedspread. He looked up at the ceiling, at the amusing Noddy wallpaper. At the same bedsheets Remus had been using since he was ten. He whistled- gratingly, some tune gleaned from popular music that Remus didn't recognise but made him twitch nonetheless. He snapped his fingers arrhythmically, clearly trying to drive Remus insane. He bounced on the spot for a while, making the bedsprings squeak in protest.

And then, finally- "Reeeeemus."

Remus gave a sigh of defeat, looking over the top of his book, which was already half-shut. He'd done nothing but read the same sentence over and over again anyway, thanks to Sirius's keen powers of annoyance.

"What?"

"I'm bored," announced Sirius, as though acknowledging it would make it cease to be true. "Where's your bass?"

"Left it at James's," said Remus slowly, as though speaking to a particularly dull child. "Remember? It was raining?"

Remembering looked like it put a bit of a strain on Sirius, but he managed.

"Ah, right," he said slowly. "With my stuff."

"Yes." Trust Sirius to remember where his beloved guitar was, at least. And his rubbishy yet equally beloved amplifier. Sighing again for a reason that he could not easily articulate, Remus picked fretfully at a fraying thread on the end of his sleeve.

Apparently offended by this moody behaviour, Sirius sat very still for a moment, and then, all at once, he threw himself forward, nearly knocking Remus off the bed.

"Let's go outside!"

"What?" sputtered Remus, hauling himself upright. "Whatever for?" He'd seen that gleam in Sirius's eye before, and he didn't like it. It usually meant he'd have to do something painful, embarrassing, or painfully embarrassing. Whatever it was, Remus wanted no part in it. He held up his hands, hoping his body language would make this clear, but instead got a faceful of his jacket, which had previously been draped over a chair. Christ, Sirius could move fast when he wanted to.

"Come on, Lupin, don't be so wet! Fresh air'll do you good. I won't stand for you just laying about all day reading more of those things."

"They're books," said Remus drily, "and I lead an active and healthy life, thank you very much." But, figuring it was probably safer to just humour Sirius, he shrugged his jacket onto his shoulders. "Where are we going?"

"Just outside." He paused. "You have been there, haven't you?"

Remus gave him a good-natured shove. "I meant where outside. If you're hungry you could just stay for dinner, we don't have to..."

"Nonsense!" cried Sirius, who was already shooing him out the door.

Feet obediently moving as directed, Remus didn't even try to stifle his third sigh of the afternoon. "Honestly, Sirius, one day someone will try to tell you something important, and you will just talk over them loudly until they give up and go away."

Sirius just gave him a grin.